The defnition of ‘Kindful’
What is ‘kindful’?
Being kindful means doing as many kind things ourselves as we can, of course, but it’s also about taking it a step further – moving beyond ourselves. To be ‘Kindful’ is to constantly ask ourselves the question: ‘How can I create the spaces and opportunities for other people to express their kindness too?’. It means seeing kindness not just as something that we personally do, but as a culture that we help create that has the power to bring whole teams and organizations together. It is the assumption that there is always a kinder way to work if we help shape the culture that looks for it, even in the more challenging moments. In fact, even more so in the challenging moments.
Kindness is what Happens in ‘the Gap’
In the moment just before any act with kindness, you see ‘the gap’. The gap between someone else’s needs and their happiness. The gap between what you could do and what’s happening. The gap between thinking about making someone’s day and actually making someone’s day.
That’s the gap.
Bridging the gap, with kindness, is sometimes the easiest thing in the world. And yet other times, it can feel like a massive personal risk:
‘What if they don’t like what I’m offering?’
‘What if I’m seen as being patronizing?’
‘What if I miss the mark?’
‘I’m not sure I have the time.’
‘I’ve got my own problems.’
‘I feel awkward.’
‘There are other people who could step in and they’d probably do a better job.’
We panic and find a million reasons not to bridge the gap. ‘What if?’ this and ‘what if?’ that. But what if your self-talk was all wrong and you did make someone’s day? What if your kind intentions were appreciated and loved? Then, you’ve created incredible human connection and perhaps pushed yourself out of your comfort zone too.
Not taking action is almost always the easier option but when we turn down the opportunity to be kind, we leave a lot on the table. We deny not only that person in need from being a potential receiver, but also, remember, the witnesses, the potential ripple effects that it creates and on and on.
Kindfulness – The Awareness of the Power of Kindness
Being Kindful starts with learning to spot ‘the gap’ more often and learning to relish it instead of fearing it. And then it is also about how we can create those ripple effects for others by helping to create the gaps, through our leadership and teamwork – giving other people permission to jump into more opportunities to be kind.
To be Kindful means to look at everything we do through the lens of kindness:
‘How can I make this situation kinder?’
‘How can I encourage others to be kind?’
‘How can our culture at work make acting with kindness easier for everyone?’
The True Meaning of Kindfulness:
As team-members, leaders and humans, we can create the ‘vessels for kindness’: whether it’s organizing a card for someone who’s had a stressful time, or suggesting we set aside a few minutes of a meeting to saying something we appreciate about the person next to us, or by creating a ‘kindness to customers’ challenge.
We all have the power to inspire others. We can point out ‘the gaps’ that we can all jump into with our actions and we can also create gaps for other people to jump into.
We all want to be kinder, but often it helps when someone has created that vessel to make it easy – think about how often you tip in a café because someone put a tips jar there, or donate to a charity because someone you know is running a marathon for that cause. Usually we jump enthusiastically into ‘the gap’ at the slightest suggestion or excuse – kindness thrives when someone just creates that space and makes it easier to do than not.
This is the essence of Kindfulness. It goes beyond our own kind actions and becomes an ongoing way that we can look at the world: ‘what can I create here, to make kindness as easy as possible for those around me?’, ‘what can I do to show the way?’, ‘what would this meeting or email or project look like if it was kinder?’, and so on.