5 ways to survive winter demons
I suffer from occasional bouts of depression. Mostly it's fine. I just spend a couple of days in bed whilst the world thinks I'm out there being uber-productive, and no one notices. A couple of times in my life, it's gotten more serious, required some happy pills and taken me longer to recover from. It's not a big deal, and I know many people suffer from it much more deeply than I do. One thing I do know is that 99% of the days depression hits me are in the winter. As the darkness sets in, I often feel sluggish and lethargic, the thoughts go a little darker, and things I'd cope well with normally suddenly send me into a spiral of confusion. In recent years, I've taken more proactive steps to avoid winter depression and I think a lot of it has worked pretty well. But since I've felt a bit of a sense of dread this week, I'm chancing my arm that some of you may have felt that too.
So if, like me, you struggle with winter, or if the "pandemic deja vu" news cycle of the last week has started giving you sinking feelings, then this week I just wanted to offer some ideas for getting through to the other side - some thoughts on surviving the winter demons.
1. Christmas rituals
I'm not a massive fan of Christmas. I don't do trees, or cards, and I tell everyone I love not to buy me anything (because it's important to me not to over-consume and also I find comfort in the ideas of practicing gratitude and avoiding greed). But that's not to say I don't enjoy some mulled wine, some quiet wintry reflection or a sing-along. Christmas is also such an evocative time, in that it reminds us of our own childhoods. For me, it's watching The Snowman. As they fly over Brighton Pier, it takes me right back to childhood Christmases, visiting my gran down here.
My main midwinter ritual is around the winter solstice on December 21st. I take my son to Burning The Clocks in Brighton every year. For me, that sense of "Phew! We made it to the darkest day! It gets lighter from here!" is a huge moment of reflection and contemplation, and a source of optimism too.
I've also spoken to people who use winter solstice as a moment to do a personal ritual at home, like lighting a candle in each room and then going round together blowing them out to celebrate the coming of light, or just going outside with mulled wine to look at the stars.
2. Throw some light into the darkness
Probably the best online purchase I've ever made was the set of outdoor fairy lights in my garden. I have them set to a timer, so that without me even thinking about it, they light the way to and from the office early in the mornings and during the evening. It turns the misery into something magical.
Of course, the best light to get in front of is the sun. Recently I've moved a few Zoom calls to be phone calls instead so that I can get outside and catch the gorgeous winter sunlight before it sets. It's a simple change, but one that I've done consciously with Vitamin D in mind, although I have to say it also makes the day more enjoyable.
And I use a 'SAD Lamp' on my desk. I turn it on for half an hour or so each day and the idea is that the 'rays' of the lamp trick your eyes into thinking you're getting sunlight. It's one of those things that either works because scientifically it's doing something important, or it works because I'm convinced it's working. Either way, it was another strong purchase and I'd recommend one.
3. Stay fit & look after your health
One thing that really helps my mental health is running. When it's cold, it can be difficult to motivate myself to get out and run, though. I know a few people who feel so good when they run, that that's enough in itself to get them out running in the morning. I wish I was one of those - the intrinsically motivated exercise people. But I see it more as something of an extrinsic rather than intrinsic motivation challenge: so for me, it's about either surrounding myself with those people and letting them nag me to get out, or setting some kind of fitness challenge. I'm signed up to run a half marathon again next year, so now I have 'no choice' but to follow the training programme! Creating a regular social activity that happens to be centred on a mutually enjoyed form of exercise is another extrinsic motivation hack. And I recently spent a small fortune on swimming gear, and my motivation is now so firmly centred on getting my money's worth, that I'm challenging myself to keep swimming all through the winter. Yes, we humans really are weird, aren't we?
4. A bit of self-care indulgence (aka non-productivity!)
Whether it be candlelit breakfasts, bubble baths, buying the expensive jam or giving your partner a massage, it feels important to find the indulgences and give yourself permission to look after yourself. Personally, it's curling up with a book, or listening to music. I see these things not as simply about 'self-care' or 'indulgence', but more about investing in my own 'Ninja Preparedness', knowing that the world needs me at my best for the next twenty years, not burnt out in the next two. I find that reframing really helpful as a way to deal with any guilt or scarcity mentality. What permission do you need to give yourself this week? What do you need to say no to, to make space for a tiny bit of indulgence? Because you're worth it...
5. Get cold and then get cosy
Winter is of course not without its' pleasures too. I love cold, windy walks and then the mulled wine or the flask of tea tastes better when you really need warming up. I want to feel like I'm 'leaning into' some of the winter, rather than just thinking of it as a collection of things to avoid. Thinking of the cold and the darkness as opportunities to be challenged, rather than just inconveniences can give them a new lease of life, and it's easier to make friends with them somehow. Feeling our way around the extremities is an important part of feeling alive.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on getting through a horrible winter. Comment below and tell me what works for you.
And if you have friends or colleagues struggling, then feel free to forward this onto them, too. The best way through hard times is together.