Don’t add me on LinkedIn

Hi Graham, I’m looking to expand my network and it would be great if we can connect!

Steve is spending his afternoon collecting Linkedin connections like it’s Myspace.

I have had a look at your profile with interest and I feel that there may be some potential synergies between our organisations

Claire didn’t get the memo about the word ‘synergies’.

Hi Graham came across your profile. Really impressive background. Connect here

James is cut-and-pasting his platitudes

It's good to connect with you on LinkedIn. I ran across your profile and it looks like there are some synergies between our two companies so I wanted to reach out to you and introduce myself and see if you are open to talking?

Grab a time below:
https://app.hubspot.com/meetings/scottie-rest-of-n...

Scottie not only wants me to connect so he can sell me stuff I’ve never heard of, but he wants ME to do the admin to set up the first call as well.

Hope you don't mind connecting, I'm just looking to expand my network, particularly with fellow entrepreneurs like yourself .If you'd be open to it,lets's connect

Rachel is having some trouble with her punctuation. I just hope she’s not copying and pasting this to thousands of people...

Hi. I stumbled across your profile and thought it’d be great to connect.

John hurt his foot stumbling over my profile. Sorry, John.

I ran across your profile and thought it would be good to connect.

What’s with all this “running across profiles”, Colin?

I see that you’re in coaching and would love to add you to my network of professionals.

No, Rochelle. I’m not ‘in coaching’, actually. I’m sorry. Does that change everything for you? We should probably have a serious talk about what we both want out of this.

I enjoy connecting with Founders and Co-Founders whom I share mutual connections with, I'd love the opportunity to connect and share insights with you on Linkedin If you're open to it?

Most of us just share posts. David’s sharing INSIGHTS. Wise man.

Hi Graham, I’m looking to expand my network of high-end professional service providers (like coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs selling high-ticket services). Are you open to connecting?

Jason wants me to sell ‘high-ticket’ services. I think that just means sell normal services but rip people off, right?

I see we have some similar connections and think you would be a great addition to my network, I’d love to connect

I’m just another trophy in Vidhu’s expanding network cabinet, I guess.

I’d be glad to have you in my business network and discuss the option of IT support of your company. We have good experience in that.

I should bloody hope so, Viktoria. Wait, is it high-ticket experience?

Hi Graham, It would be great if can can connect!

Duuuuuh duh duh duh duh Duuuuh Duuuuh duh duh duh duh Duuuuuh Duuuh duh duh duh duh duh…

Those are all absolutely real. I cut and pasted them, word for word (and changed the names, because I'm kind).

But here's the thing. Instead of resorting to weird cliches and platitudes, why not tell me what you actually want? Or if you're curious and want to build connection (as I do regularly with people on Linkedin), take some time to write something meaningful that might spark a connection rather than sending this inauthentic nonsense.

And this isn't just about Linkedin, but is part of a wider problem: when we just try to behave the way we feel we're supposed to behave - when we try to follow a pre-written script - then we end up at bland and superficial.

When we use our words to communicate more thoughtfully and deeply, there's a chance that much greater things can happen.